A Blonde Joke..

[Ric]

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmured their approval.

The man stood up on the bar, and dropped his trousers, placing his privates in the alligator's mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.

After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."

A hush fell over the crowd.

After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.

A blonde girl timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle so hard."

 

[Danster]

Hehe

Every weekend Martin Smith goes fishing on a saturday to the same place as he has done for the last 20 years. He gets up as usual at 8.00am leaving his wife in bed, gets dressed gathers his fishing equipment and hooks his boat up to his car.

On this paticular Saturday he opens his garage door and before his eyes starts a hurricane like storm. He shrugs his sholders and agrees with himself that it's wise to give it a miss that day.

He unhooks his car unloads all his equipment and goes back to bed.

In the bedroom he gets undressed slips quietly back into his bed
and yawns to his wife "terible weather"

to which the wife replies "yeah can you belive it, my husband is
out in that shit"

 

[Danster]

A manager walks into his office and sees a blonde crying. He approaches her and asks why she's crying. She tells him she just found out her mother died. The manager tells her to go to take the rest of the day off and not to worry about work. Later, the manager calls the blonde to see how she's doing. The blonde is crying harder than before. He tries to console her, but he couldn't. The blonde says, "I was calling everyone to let them know about my mother's death and I found out something horrible." "What?" the manager replied. "I found out my sister''s mom died too!"

 

[tgcujo]

Why does a blonde mom only change her baby's diapers once a month?

The package said good for up to 20 pounds!

 

[searay345]

Great jokes!!

A blonde is looking for work. She is wandering around a neighborhood to do odd jobs that people don't feel like doing. She walks up to this house with a porch that wraps around the whole perimeter of the house. A guy answers the door.

Guy: Can I help you?
Blonde: I am looking for odd jobs to do to make some side cash.
Guy: Well...you can paint my porch...I'll give you $100.
Blonde: OK

Then the guys wife comes out and says:
You shouldn't take advantage of her. That will take a long time to do!

An hour later, the blonde comes back.

Blonde: I am all done.
Guy: Really!?!?
Blonde: Yeah, and I had enough to do two extra coats.
Guy: You did?
Blonde: Yeah

The guy paid her, and as she is walking away from the house she turns around and says:
Oh by the way, that's not a porche, it's a Ferrari.