Eight words with two meanings

[timslim]

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing cricket without a box.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

 

[Ric]

Hi there,

I am secretly laughing out loud, it's the sort of humour that we're not meant to find funny anymore, in this politically correct world !

Isn't number 8 the wrong way round ? ;-)

regards

Ric

 

[timslim]

I think we can get away with this one, as it paints us men in bad light, and reading it again, all are probably true!

As for number 8, my wife would say she doesn't know what one is as she never has the opportunity to use it !......

 

[Kyomii]

Er....No Rick, number 8 is definitely the RIGHT way around! Men are terrible with remotes!!!

I spend a lot of time in bed due to my condition, and we have sky linked to the bedroom. The ONLY time I get to use the remote in bed is when hubby is on xbox 360.

All other times while awake, I find I am watching 20 different programs in the space of as many minutes courtesy of hubby who flicks those button's like there is no tomorrow!

They should not leave a man in charge of the "red" button in the suitcase that could end the world as we know it - it is just to tempting for him!

SOME NICE READING HERE FOR YE MEN :biggrin:

 

[Ric]

I must live in topsy turvey land, I never have the remote ! ;-)

I would say 95% of TV that we watch is "Sky Plus'd" so who ever has the remote, has to whizz the adverts on !

...I find I am watching 20 different programs in the space of as many minutes courtesy of hubby who flicks those button's like there is no tomorrow!

I bet that's so annoying ! Broom handle banging on the floor ;-)

I like the link ! Very funny.

regards

Ric

 

[Kyomii]

I bet that's so annoying ! Broom handle banging on the floor ;-)

I keep my walking stick right beside me in bed and use that

There is a definate hole in the floor appearing

From the link I posted, I like number 3:

. ....It's only when women are widowed that they discover there's such a thing as a remote control .......


One woman answered "Why wait until you're widowed? I found that divorce solved the problem admirably." ....

 

[Ric]

...you'll have to get one of those extender remotes, so that you can change it from upstairs !

Small children must never set the programme reminder or autoview for programmes after their bed-time. Neither mummy nor daddy like Jeremy Paxman turning into Roly Poly Olie.
Jack Falstaff, UK

All this to come !

;-)

 

[Kyomii]

...you'll have to get one of those extender remotes, so that you can change it from upstairs !

I have a remote upstairs - but, being a man, he wins the remote war when we are fighting out the channels :tongue:

 

[Ric]

...that's only because you let him win !

Crafty bunch you Women ;-)