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Cory Cooper

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Subject: Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support,

Last year, I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up quite a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs, and launches during the system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications like Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5, and Monday Night Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I am thinking of going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not seem to work on this program. Can you help me PLEASE!?!?

Thanks, Joe

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RE: Wife 1.0

Dear Joe,

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely utilities and an entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEMm, and is designed by its creator to run everything. It is very unlikely that you will be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within the system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained other than a small change of scenery. It is impossible to purge, delete, or uninstall the program files from the system once they are installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0, because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have gone as far as installing Girlfriend 8.0 in a hidden sub-directory, or tried installing Wife 2.0, but they end up with more problems than the original system had. Detection of Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 can result in Wife 1.0 creating general protection faults such as "Warning - Cannot find Alimony or Child Support files, or files are out of date." Because Wife 1.0's directories and sub-directories are almost impossible to understand or modify, some overrides have been installed to assist you in (at least) making Wife 1.0 a liveable experience.

I recommend that you attempt the following at the onset of ANY problems that you might have: After any system crash, Wife 1.0 WILL give you an opportunity to fix the problem yourself (although you might not see the opportunity, it IS there, you just have to look for it). At the C prompt enter the following:

c:\apologize

Generally this should work, unless you have truly created a massive error. In any case, avoid hitting the "Esc" key at all costs! There are also add-ons that you can install to assist you in your efforts. Try buying a copy of Flowers 4.1 or Chocolates 5.5, or both for really big errors. Do not, under ANY circumstances install Secretary v38.24.36, with the Short Skirt Upgrade! This is not a supported application for any of the Wife OR Girlfriend series programs, and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the system.

Best of Luck,

Tech Support
 

Ric

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Re: Wife 1.0

Very good, what better way to start a Monday than having a very good full on laugh to start the day...

I think only those of us who are on version "Wife 1.0" can fully appreciate this,

still laughing

Ric
 

Ric

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Re: Wife 1.0

Just in case Wife 1.0 is watching - only joking !

Note to self: I must not use the term "Wife 1.0" again, because Wife 1.0 would not see the funny side...damn just did it again...boy am I going to get in trouble !
 

Cory Cooper

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Stick with Wife 1.0 if you can...

The real trouble starts when you juggle Girlfriend 3.1, 3.5, and 4.2!

:)
 
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